Realistic Assessments

So. Things look bad. Very. The second organic test is tomorrow and I have every reason to believe I won't get above a 60 on this one either. I'll quite possibly do worse, in fact. So... my best grade possible for the course (non curved) - working on the absolutely unrealistic assumption that I take the cumulative final in two weeks which would have about three times as much material as this test and manage to get a perfect score - is about a C. Which can be bumped up to a B by the curve. But, like I said, that's a completely unrealistic assumption.

It's annoying to have on class throw off my whole plan. It's tragic that it happened to be the very last semester of the very last course though. I'd even gone out of my way to make the course I thought would throw things off (Calculus) get taken first, so I could just change things up after a few months rather than a few years of classes. Here I am though and.... well.... tough luck.

I don't know what I'll do next.

If I take the optional final and manage to work my way out of this course with a C, then maybe the option of going to nursing school will be open since that doesn't require a year of organic chemistry. If I take the final and it lowers my grade (quite possible, since it would be harder), then I'm not so sure I'll find a nursing school willing to let me in with D's (or worse, an F..... which would be a pretty shocking turn around from the A I got first semester. Go figure).

I can go back to law school always. The problem is finding a job after though, since I won't have had any of the internships, and I'll have tough luck getting a second year internship after having quit law school for 2 years. That will be tough to explain away in an interview.

Other jobs I have some interest in, like working with the State Department, generally have requirements I should have been busy fulfilling over the last 6 years instead of going to law school and medical school. Experience in "X,Y,Z required, along with a degree in political science or...". I have the degree, but I never got that experience since I was doing completely different things. So it looks like it'll be hard to get hired for a spot like this too. At least, for any meaningful position.

Well, that's it for now. I'll see if I can go find a new background for the blog, although it looks like it might be coming to a premature end.

And Now For Something Completely Different....

It seems I have, finally, actually, shockingly managed to overachieve by accident.

The personal statement I've been obsessive over lately was actually meant to be a 5200 character essay, and not the 5200 word mini-thesis I put together. The larger essay isn't actually due for two months (and even then I'll have to cut it down a bit in size I believe). So... that's actually done. In advance. Almost.

The downside is that while I spent the last week frantically working on my 16 page explanation of why I should be accepted into a medical school, I wasn't studying my organic chemistry for the upcoming exam on the 12th. I was never happy about that, but I thought I was facing a deadline and had no choice.... so it looks like I've wasted a lot of perfectly good time that could have been much, much, much better used studying chemistry.

I have a strong feeling that this chemistry test will go badly again, in large part because of this. I'll be able to start studying for it this Wednesday, and will do that frantically until the day of the test. I'm somewhat helped out by the fact that the NMR at work is still down, so I get some days off since work can't be done without it. But still, less than one week probably isn't enough time to get me ready. I'm not entirely down and out, but that means everything will be riding on the optional final. That's not a pretty situation to face.

Other good news though - I've finally finished securing all of my letters of recommendation. I have one from my biology teacher, am going to get one from my physics teacher after meeting with him this week, and got one from the nurse who was supervising me at the hospital. I also got one from a physician today, although I was sadly unable to get in touch with my neurologist for that.

Well, that's it for updates - I'm off to go work on my very last lab report of the semester. I suppose I should change the background to something more Spring-Like again.... imagine I'll do that next time I drop by.

Too Much Is Going On For A Single Title

I got the first o. chem test of the second semester back last week, and did as poorly as expected. I'd managed to forget about it over spring break, but it was a downer to come back to. I got about a 60, which is probably a C with the curve at the end I think. So it's terrible, but still in the realm of correctable. Nonetheless I got pretty bent out of sorts last week, and even played hookie from my job (the first 75 degree day of the year probably helped with that decision, somewhat.)

In better news I found my third (and I think final) recomender. I'll meet him in early April, and then that will be all sorted out. My neurologist never got back to me, which is probably the fault of the secretary there for not passing on my message, but there's not really time to worry about that - looks like I'll have to get a letter from my general physician. Personal statements are in draft form, but not complete, and I have to schedule two mock interviews by I'm not sure when (but sometime really soon).

So. What next. I have a general feeling of anxiety, and am pretty sure things are going badly. The biggest problem is simply that I'm not getting time to study enough for the MCAT, and am fairly sure I won't be ready to take it and do well in May.

I think the real approach is to "ignore" the MCAT. Whether canceling it and retaking it next year, or taking it and doing badly and ending up taking it again next year.... either way it's a test I can take again in the worst case scenario. Obviously I don't/didn't want it to end up working like that, and making this whole process take one more year is kind of (very) disheartening, but there's really nothing I can do about this. If I let that stress me out I'll just mess up everything else.

So what really needs working on is O. Chem, because I don't get to retake that and change my GPA. The problem with the last test, as I said, was that the answers to problems aren't in our useless book. So that's what I need to fix. I have to start actively working on problems this coming Monday, so I can go in and talk to our teacher about them to see what's going on. Then I just need to finish the rest of the application stuff. Hopefully the letters will be reusable/holdable if I were to not apply this summer, and my personal statement will certainly work whenever. That way, I won't have to worry about doing it again.

Just for the record, second semester O. Chem seems to have become a legitimate nightmare, with more to figure out and memorize than you can probably imagine. But I'll go on and do my best.

A Busy Break

So I haven't had classes this week because of spring break, but I've been running around everywhere trying to round up some letters of recommendation. I've succesfully managed two so far, not including my faculty "mentor" who'll reccomend me in the committee letter I talked about earlier. So it looks like I need one more faculty member, and the reference of a physician. I'm trying to get in touch with my neurologist for that; it would be nice if I could keep some sort of neurology theme going on in my application, since that's my reason for applying. If I'm unable to get in touch with him I'll have to get my generalist to write one up, which should be easily doable, even if somewhat less desirable.

The third professor is a bit tricky. Ideally it would be a science professor. Unfortunately, my first year science courses at AU have been large and I didn't go to office hours, so I'm pretty sure the professors don't know me at all. My physics teachers might remember me, but physics was my weakest class and, probably, isn't the best place to go for recommendations. It's an option though - I'd go with the teacher from the first semester when I managed an A-. I went to his office hours a lot, and he'd hopefully remember me once he saw my face. He could talk about me visiting frequently and trying hard, if nothing else.

I was also thinking about trying to get one of my old law teachers to help explain/justify my transition from law to science. Having only one letter from an actual science teacher would seem odd though.... not to mention I've been completely unable to track down this former law teacher since she left her job after being nominated as an appellate judge.

I also need to finish my personal statement by Tuesday. I haven't really started (although I have a good idea of what I want to talk about), and that's a pretty important essay on my behalf, so it's I'm feeling a bit of stress. At least I'm good at that type of writing though, so it shouldn't be too hard once I get a draft done.

The funny/sad thing is that while I'm spending all this time working on my application, I'm not being able to find time to study enough for the MCAT itself.... that's going to be a problem in two or three months. A big one.

Foiled Again

The first O. Chem test of this semester is going to be this Tuesday. I've actually been working on that hard for the last two weeks but, again, not in the proper manner. And I didn't figure that out until a few days ago, so it was too late to really fix anything.

Our book is awful, and has no answers to the problems (you have to buy another 150 dollar book to get those.... which I don't own). I was planning on hitting my book really hard over these last two weeks to get ready but that's proven impossible. I can spend all the time in the world with my book, and it's almost useless if I can't confirm that I'm doing things right or not. I don't know why I didn't figure out that would be a problem sooner, since it's the same book as last semester. I guess it was less of a problem last semester of that other small o. chem book I had on the side. Without anything like that this time, I've been left kind of staring at pages.

The test won't go well.

The semester itself isn't ruined, of course. It just means I need to do better on the second test and, probably, I'll have to take the optional final this time (if I want a 4.0, at least. or a 3.7). I'll also have to change my approach to studying for the next test immediately, and suppose I'll have to break down and buy that answer manual. Even though this doesn't ruin anything, it's really really frustrating. Was hoping to do well on this test and have that trigger a wave of good happenings. No chance of that now.

Wish I had the test tomorrow, instead of Tuesday. I'm going to keep stressing over this all of tomorrow, while not being able to fix anything. It's something that just needs to get over with.

This will be the last week of courses before spring break though, so I'll have a week off soon at least. Or a week to spend trying to track down more letters of recommendation and work on personal statements, rather.

Mentorship

I said I'd talk more about the upcoming set of things I have to do, so here goes. The first up was find a faculty "mentor" for me by February 15th. Their job, more or less, is to review the 3+ letters of recommendation that I'm going to get, and add their own letter of recommendation that can tie the previous ones together into a coherent whole. So it's a pretty time intensive job on their part, and I'm glad I found someone to do it. However, it makes finding people for the actual letters of rec a bit harder, because I don't really know /that/ many teachers having not been in undergrad lately.

Anyhow, here's what needs doing (beyond studying O. Chem and MCAT material).

March 15: I need to my resume, a brief autobiography, a lengthy personal statement, and all of my transcripts from undergrad and lawschool brought into the premed office. The resume and personal statement are going to medical schools, so have to be super-well done.

April 1: This is my last day to have done a mock interview with the admissions-help people at the college. And that's a service I really ought to take advantage of, because the medical school interviews are actually really important in determining if you get in. Your grades and MCAT determine if you can get an interview, and then the interview by a panel determines if you get in the school. There was nothing equally like this for law school or undergrad, so it's worth preparing for.

April 15: All letters of recommendation have to be /recieved/ by this date. Which means that I'd better start asking for those letters right about now. People have stuff to do, and probably would want at least a two months head up on having to give me letters. Especially people I haven't been in touch with lately - if I wanted a letter from the law professor I did research with, for instance.

~May 15: This is when my transcripts have to go from the premed office to the AMCAS website.

May 29: MCAT Day. Can't push it back again and still successfully apply for this cycle.

~June 1: This is when the actual application can be submitted to most colleges from the AMCAS website.

MCAT Date Change

Well. I spent a long while trying to decide if I should push it back or not. After meeting with the pre-med adviser today I was able to get a pretty straight answer about how bad it would be to take the MCAT in May, rather than April, and was told it wouldn't matter much. And that's all it took to tip things for me, so the new date is May 26th instead of April 29th. I was actually able to keep the same location and test time, although I had to pay another sixty dollars to make the change.

I figure that if I don't get into school because I applied late, but got a decent MCAT score, that's a much better situation to be in than if I were to take the MCAT early and not get in anywhere because of a bad score that would stick on my record permanently. The extra month will be much needed: whether it's sufficient or not remains to be seen.

What keeps me hopeful is that I'm really more qualified for this than I ever was for law school. I got into law school pretty much on a whim, just because there was nothing better to do. I had no prior extracurricular activities or work that were relevant, and no particularly great letters of recommendation or personal statements. Getting into medical school is much tougher, but in the last few years I've picked up a job in a Chem lab, have worked in a hospital, have met people who'll give me good letters of rec, and have a great "why do you want to be a doctor" statement lined up from my own experiences with epilepsy. So .... maybe I can pull it off.

Anyhow. As far as actual MCAT studying goes, that's officially kicked off now. I've been trying to study at least four hours or so for at least five days a week now, if not more, and it's pretty exhausting. Especially with work at the chem lab just starting up as well. Work at the chem lab isn't time exhausting, but it's mentally draining. I feel really dumb not knowing exactly how stuff works there yet, and have lots of questions.

O. Chem is draining too. I'm behind on my mechanisms, and there are so many. But now I can study a bit more for O. Chem specifically, since the MCAT is a bit further off. Hopefully that will end up helping me out both in my class and on the MCAT itself.

When talking to my adviser I got a list of things I need to start setting up, and dates they need to be set up by. It was interesting, and helpful. I'll go talk about those in another post though.