Physics Came Back

The average score on the test was a 64.7%. I got a 66%. It's not a good score, but it's not a low F either. It's really amazing that half the class did worse than me, hey. That's how it goes, I guess. Given how things seem to work around here, it should be high enough to let me end up with a half-way decent grade.

It's somewhat bothersome that I care less and less about how I do each time, simply because I know now that I'll end up doing "ok" (GPA-wise) as long as I keep performing above the average.

But at least I've legitimately done well in everything else. If the system is going to carry me through my one weak area, I'd be a fool not to let it. I can try and brush up on the Physics again at some point.

Mental Note

In the background I should listen to music more, and watch tv less. Tv just stops things from getting done, music sometimes helps. Plus, I'm sure old CD's feel happier when you listen to them.

Found: One Blue Lab Manual

Turns out my partner stole it by mistake, and brought it back last Friday. Which was great news, in that it saved my 40 dollars or so. Of course, it stopped me from doing my lab report last week. .... which isn't /awful/, since we get to drop one. It's still annoying, though. I'd rather have my dropped grade be one I didn't do well on for whatever reason than one I simply wasn't able to do through no fault of my own.

Anyhow... remember when I said I couldn't say I got a 100% on that last Chemistry test? Turns out I was wrong. There were two extra credit questions (one of which I got right - both of which I /should/ have got right), and I ended up with a 100% on the dot. Don't let the number fool you though, it's not as impressive as it sounds. The mean was a 90%, and the median was a 95%. So.... all the hundred really says is that I probably placed somewhere in the top 25% or so of the class, give or take (standard deviation wasn't given). Not that that's a particularly bad place to place.

I still haven't gotten the Physics test back, but that one will be simply awful. And what's worse, it looks like this new section we're doing is going to be tougher than the last one. I really need to make myself get through this class. It's the only serious obstacle I have at the moment...

Missing: One Blue Lab Manual

I was getting down to the business of typing up my Physics lab report for tomorrow when I realized I was missing the manual. Naturally, that makes it notably harder to actually do the report. I must have left in in the lab last week.... I imagine it's who knows where by now, although I'll give a quick look tomorrow to see if anyone found it lying around.

We get to drop one lab, so it looks like this will be mine. It's unfortunate to have to use it on something as stupid as "I couldn't do the report because I left my manual somewhere" though. It's also unpleasant having to buy a new manual for just under fifty dollars (for a tiny tiny spiral bound book..... go figure).

It could cause problems with subsequent labs. I can't really do them, or the reports, without the manual. And I probably won't get it in under a week. I imagine there will be a way to work around that though. ... Sigh.

Not a good first step in {operetta: get ready for the next Physics test}.

When I Said Things Will Go Well

I hope I was right, because yesterday's Physics test went quite badly. Exactly how badly will depend on how this teacher ends up splitting partial credit but... it went badly. Probably badly enough to stop me from getting an A- in the course, barring some sort of curve or me miraculously scoring a 100% on everything from here on out.

Lessons learned?

1: I studied far too much for a challenging chemistry test that never materialized. Next time, I can practically put off all studying for the Chemistry test beyond a 1-Day review and - if I've kept up with class/the reading - I'll probably do just fine.

2: Don't switch the order of studying. It was partly the snow's fault for constantly rearranging tests, but I started studying for the Physics test, then stopped when it got pushed back and started on Chemistry, then flipped again and again. I never adequately focused on either subject.

3: Study for these tests by doing the problems, not rereading chapters multiple times. The rereading I did gave me a much better feel for how things worked, it's true, but to do well on the test I needed a kind of different skill set, and I needed to have done more specific memory work. It's probably better to read the material once and then spend my time doing/redoing all sorts of problems than it is rereading the material four or five times until it clicks, in a broad sense. That might not be true in a greater "I understand Physics" approach, but it will certainly work better in a "I got a B or better in Physics" approach.

My next set of tests now is towards the end of March. With any luck, it will be a bit warmer then and I won't have to deal with any more of this snow. Which is good: I'm tired of waking up early to walk to school on ice.

I Wish I Could Say I Got A Hundred

But sadly, there was a question on the Chemistry test I just couldn't answer. It was an easy test though, and I'm frustrated that I can't say I got a 97 either. There were lots of small questions, most of which I think I got right, but several of which I may have had little slips on. There were also a lot of "explain why x happens" type questions, and I'm not sure if my answers are going to get me full credit, or if the professor is going to grade them more harshly and take of 1 or two points on each one liberally. I don't think he's the type who'll excessively nitpick on purpose, but who knows.

I'm pretty sure I got at least a B. An A- is quite possible. An A is possible, but everything would have to had fallen in place just right. Wherever the grade falls on that spectrum it will be a better start than last semester's first Chemistry test, which I flubbed spectacularly. So If I could work back up to an A average from that test, I'm sure I'll be quite all right this time around.

Next up is tomorrows Physics exam. That one is all kinds of problematic, because I'm really exhausted now. I only got ~3 hours of sleep (not intentionally... it was another night of my lying there /trying/ to sleep, and failing), and I'm a bit burned out from all the studying I've been doing the last week as well. Worse, I have a Chemistry Lab this evening that will take up a good four hour chunk of what time I do have left. Add to that my standard "Physics is hard QQing", and we have a test that could go poorly. I suppose I'll use the time and effort I can muster to go over the basics, my class notes, and some of the homework problems. There's probably no use worrying about the more complicated bits at this point. With any luck, I'll do "ok" enough that I can recover from whatever happens.

Study Break!

Two hours on Chemistry: eyes need rest.

My two tests are just about up, and I'm not overwhelmingly ready for either. I probably won't get a 100 on either. On the other hand, I probably won't fail either, which is nice. I'm ok with it: I feel like I'm in a great position to get a 100 on the next set of tests that come up if I keep at it like this.

I haven't managed to do all the memorizing for the Physics test, and probably won't given time constraints. Which is a downer. It's also mildly puzzling, because I really have been putting a lot of time into it, and more than keeping up with it. I "get" all of the Physics though, unlike last semester. So I suppose that's what I've gotten out of the extra time spent. I also suspect that a benefit of this extra work is that I'll manage to retain material more successfully.

Chemistry would be fine except that the teacher decided to open with some O. Chem stuff, instead of just not covering it until the end, if then. I didn't ever /really/ get that stuff all down, and it's involved enough I'm discovering I can't get it properly memorized now. I have a good deal of it; it's not like I just don't understand anything, but I needed more time on that /specific/ chapter than I had planned for. How I do on the test pretty much depends on how many organic chem questions are on it, and how hard they are. It was a mistake and poor planning on my part. It's too late to correct now though, so there's not use getting stressed.

It's taken a bit of time to really kick into gear since I tried to step things up. You want to find new/different ways to kill time, and you do. It takes a lot of will to stop that, but things have progressed well. If I keep it up until the end of the year I'm hopeful I'll get good grades again. Then I can take one course during summer, and relax a bit more again. I'll get to study a bit less, and in a bit more relaxed environment, and I can probably pick up some pass-times again. I'll also have a good chance to see exactly how much this extra work helped, or didn't help, and can use that to come up with a better plan on how to balance my time.

After summer, I think I only have Organic Chemistry left. That and studying for the MCATs. The latter is pretty serious, but with only one organized course - and not an intense one like that over summer -even that might feel more relaxed.

I'll definitely need to pick up some sort of medically relevant job/activity/research position again between now and the MCATs, but this particular semester is the only one I think I have to go 100% on, to the point of just dropping all non-studying stuff. ... Until I start medical school, at least.

Another Day, Another Foot of Snow

Well - the snow hasn't started yet, but it should start coming down any hour now. School got cancelled again today, and probably will be tomorrow as well (although I didn't have Wednesday classes in the first place). It might be a bit less than a foot, actually, but the net result is that my Physics exam has now been pushed back over the weekend too.

It's a strange little miracle.

After months of everything going so well for me, things seemed like they were starting to fall apart: then this happens. And it's the weather I hate so much that made it all possible too. Who'd have thunk it. I'm not seriously about to start reading fate into things, but this has been a huge break, and I plan on making the most out of it. I've got a little jump in my step again, and hopefully I'll be able to knock these two tests out of my way with no trouble at all.

Finally, Some Good News

The Chemistry test actually has been pushed back! Now I won't have it until next Monday, which means I only have one test to try and get ready for this week. That test is Physics, and I still probably won't be "ready" for it, but I have a much better shot this way. Then I've got a whole weekend to get ready for Chemistry, which should be enough since I've been studying a bit already. (And since both my Physics and Chemistry labs have been snowed out, I won't be worried about writing up reports for either.)

In additional news, we're supposed to have /more/ snow tomorrow, if you can believe that. I heard 3-8" somewhere, which I wouldn't believe, if we hadn't had this much already.

Yet More Snow

It's been pretty impressive. We got just under two feet of snow where I'm at, which is almost unprecedented down here. There's still most of it on the roads, and classes have been cancelled for Monday. There's probably a reasonable chance they'll be cancelled Tuesday as well, but that's open.

It's half good. It's nice being able to sleep in without worrying about morning classes, and it's nice not having to be out for four hours doing a chemistry lab. Unfortunately, it's also taken away my chance to ask a few questions, or go to office hours that would have regularly been held. If it pushed the tests back until next week instead of this week, that would be fine. Great, even. But I don't see that happening.

I'm not very excited about the tests themselves (Chemistry on Thursday, Physics on Friday). Like I've been saying, I'm out of stuff lately. I can't quite figure out why, and I can't really seem to fix it. No need to go into that much, though. It's enough to say that I don't have great expectations for either test. I'm working though, and we'll see what happens. I just have to not do /horribly/, and then I can still potentially salvage stuff.

Is It SADs?

Seasonal Affective Disorder maybe? I don't know, but lately I've been feeling like a broken car would, if a broken car could feel.

I knew it would take a long time to get to medical school (and an even longer time after that), but it just gets more and more frustrating. I've essentially been in college (or variations thereof) for the last 7 or so years. Even with things working out at their best, I'll be in courses with people 7 years younger than me for over a year. I have no guarantee at all of this working out, I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't, and I'm drained of my energy because I spending it all trying to do well in courses I'm just not good at.

Trying to do something you want is all well and good, but what if it's just not realistic? Millions of people probably just go on in life with jobs they're not in love with, why should it turn out different for me?

Then I get even more frustrated, because I'm only taking 8 credit hours. I'm a half-time student, and I feel this out-of-it? Is that even allowed? It probably isn't, so I start blaming myself for that too, and manage to make everything worse.

I've been falling asleep again with the pills, but they leave you miserably tired when you wake up if you can't get 10 hours of sleep or so. And I generally can't.

Physics Test 1 is next Friday. I'm not ready.

But hey - at least my cold is getting better.